Welcome to Polly’s Plog!

There’s nothing more scary than a devoted fan.

In the middle of breakfast this morning, we heard the security chime from the front gate. We weren’t expecting anyone. When Tim went to the intercom to find out who was there, no one answered.

Polly decided it must have been some kids playing around.

Half a Bloody Mary later, the chime rang again. Once again, no answer on the intercom. Tim went outside to see what was going on. He came back with a pile of typed pages, looking worried.

“There’s a laptop on the ground outside the gate,” he told us.

Polly, of course, was thrilled. “Bring it in, darling! It’s just what I need!”

Tim mumbled something about a ‘gift horse’ and started reading the paperwork he brought in. It’s addressed to Polly, and has lots of instructions about what to do - and what not to do - with a computer. It’s signed “A Fan” - so we have no idea where the laptop actually came from.

Apparently, someone has been reading this blog.

So here’s the problem. Tim doesn’t want to bring it into the house unless he knows it’s safe. Polly wants to check her email. Tim says there’s no point calling the police - he says they’ll blow it up, just in case. As soon as she heard that, Polly headed out the front door. Tim intercepted her in the driveway. She kept arguing, “But I NEED it!”

They had a shouting match out there. Polly kept saying something about how the laptop has a cute little apple on the cover, so how could it possibly be something bad? Tim wouldn’t let her near it, and finally talked her down with a short-term peace treaty.

Tim agreed to call Detective Archer, and Polly agreed to wait for Archer’s advice. Meantime, I am letting Polly check her email on my computer - with Tim’s supervision, of course.

Never a dull moment around here. I need a drink.

Placenta

Dear Readers,

Don’t hold this against me… there’s a reason you’re not hearing from Polly in this blog.

Not long ago, “HRH” (my dear employer) decided: what’s hers is hers, and what’s mine is also hers. She trashed her own laptop and, after driving the champagne budget into 5 figures… again… can’t find the cash to buy herself a new computer.

She decided she could use my computer.

I decided to change the password.

At first she was angry. Lately she has resorted to pleading and cajoling. I’m enjoying every minute of it.

Polly’s latest case has been solved, so it’s way too quiet around here. She’s bored - and this is never a good thing. At this point, the lack of other entertainment has made this little computer dispute a very big deal.

So… Should I let her use it? (aha! maybe I can read her email!) or should I stand my ground? Decisions, decisions.

It’s fun to have a little leverage around here.

Well, it’s time to prepare breakfast. And I’m thinking of hiding the keyboard.

Cheers,

Placenta

Tim here.

So… Polly has decided to start a blog. She’s calling it a Plog. I’m calling it entertainment.

Ha! Another brilliant idea from a woman who can’t open her own champagne.

To make matters worse, the only functional computer in the house belongs to
Placenta.

In spite of our warnings, Polly has opened everything on her own laptop - even emails that are clearly suspicious (”…but darling, it might be from a fan!”) so her computer is riddled with viruses or some such thing. It’s very slow and quirky, so now she refuses to use it.

Plancenta has developed an attitude about this entire venture, so stay tuned.

You may be hearing from her before Polly gets the hang of blogging - “plogging” - whatever.

Cheers…I have a party to plan. More soon.

Tim